This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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