I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
