They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
