I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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