is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Come see our sink grown plant.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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