: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
