this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
