We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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