Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize