I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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