Porn is love you can see.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
