Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize