are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
