Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
