It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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