You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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