SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
