Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
