if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
