and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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