sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
