my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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