maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize