no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
