Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
