Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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