I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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