"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize