These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
