last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
