he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
