Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
