never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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