I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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