Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
