So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
