PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
