Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
