The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize