just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
