I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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