nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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