Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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