I am puke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
