Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
