I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
