If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
