I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
