why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
