If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
