so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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