she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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