Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
