She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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