Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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