I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
