no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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