she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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