My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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