end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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