these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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