my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
