I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
