If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
