yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
