Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
