Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
