Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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