YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Mom said you looked used
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
