Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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