this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
