chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
