I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
