yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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