Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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