You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All I want is dick and wine.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
