i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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