I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
