A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
